You know how it goes: you’re feeling uncertain about your relationship. You know something doesn’t feel right and it’s not totally what you want… but instead of advocating more clearly for your needs or ending the relationship, you ignore those feelings for another day.
You question whether you can really tell whether it’s right for you or not, and you question whether you’d be able to recognise if something better came along anyway.
You’re stuck in patterns of going along with whatever comes along, afraid that connecting more deeply with yourself would mean sacrificing connection with others.
Those nagging voices of self-doubt are stopping you from being your whole self: out of fear of rejection, abandonment, or belittlement.
Even when it’s only little things. The small ways you keep yourself small that you tell yourself are trivial…
Like when you started seeing someone new, and your dates were always on their terms. They’d only meet you when it was convenient for them, and often they’d be late or seemingly in a rush to head off afterwards. You knew you wanted more from them – more quality time, more enthusiasm, more care, but something inside told you that to ask for more was ‘too needy’. So you settled for what you got.
And it’s left you wondering… is this as good as it’s going to get?
Perhaps you know that it doesn’t have to be this way, because of all those folks on Instagram reassuring you that you can advocate for yourself and set your own boundaries.
But you have no idea how to actually go about changing any of this.
Where would you even start?
The first thing to know is that challenges with trusting yourself to speak your truth, advocate for your needs, and ask for what you really want come from a disconnection from yourself.
If you’re not in deep connection with yourself first of all, how can you really know what it is you want?
If you’re not truly connected with your needs, how can you tell when they’re not being met?
If you’re not in close relationship with yourself, how can you prioritise yourself enough to have necessary yet difficult conversations?
The connection you have with yourself is the most important thing you bring to any relationship with another person, so this is a really important place to start.
Connecting more deeply with yourself, your intuition, and your wisdom means connecting more deeply with your aliveness, your vitality, your pleasure, and your wholeness. It means welcoming in relationships that light you up and allow you to be more fully yourself.
I want to show you how to come back to yourself, so that you can feel and share your emotions, wants, and desires, and enjoy healthier relationships full of trust and authenticity.
This membership is for women who have noticed patterns of resentment, frustration, and disappointment in their relationships from lack of reciprocity.
It’s for women who often feel afraid to speak up out of fear of rejection, abandonment, or belittlement.
It’s for women who feel stuck in their head and disconnected from their deeper needs and desires.
It’s for women who don’t know where to start on their own healing journey.
It’s for women who know they would benefit from the support and guidance of a qualified intimacy coach (that’s me).
It’s for women who feel excited to receive new, doable practices and exercises every week, rather than a specific time-limited course or program.
And it’s for women who are feeling ready to explore the blocks, fears, and habits that keep them from speaking up.
Sounding like something you’d benefit from?
Click here to sign up today!
Secure payment via credit/debit card or PayPal.
Change happens in small, doable ways.
I know – it doesn’t sound as sexy or impressive as chasing big peak experiences. But repeating small doable steps over time is a really sustainable way to make big changes… and integrate them.
That’s why taking my time and finding practices that serve me – and that I can stick with – has been one of the most important things on my journey to come back to myself.
To feel confident to speak up, regardless of the response. To identify my needs and desires, and work through the shame I had around them. To be able to create the kinds of relationships I want to be having: full of trust, honest communication, autonomy, and mutual care and support.
In this membership you’ll have access to a wealth of small, doable practices, exercises, and meditations that are designed to support you in feeling more confident in speaking your truth, while fitting into your life – no need to spend hours watching videos or meditating.
Why is this so important?
- When you practice new habits in small, doable ways, change doesn’t feel so overwhelming. Instead of pushing, you can relax into trying new ways of relating at a pace that feels manageable.
- You can test out different approaches and see what works for you. You can hang on to the things that serve you, without worrying about the rest.
- Instagram posts and self-help books can only take you so far: the work happens when you put things into practice and test out new ways of doing things. In this membership I can give you guidance and structure to do that.
This is an important way we can reparent ourselves: by prioritising our wellbeing and growth, adopting new practices that serve us better, and honouring the pace at which our bodies want to go.
Don’t just take my word for it…
The coursework, daily practices, and q&as offer a variety tools for different learning styles. One could implement all of the tools in a structured way or pick and choose the tools that suit them best and still gain insight about oneself.
Kat
The recurring themes that resonate most with me are curiosity and connection. Each material promotes curiosity and connection to yourself and others, which has helped me to be more observant and accepting of myself and my needs.
Each chapter of the coursework includes a guided meditation which helped me get into my body before working on the written exercises. Daily practices helped me to find opportunities in my day to reconnect with myself and even find opportunities to speak my truth that, in the past, I would have missed. The q&as address questions that may be sitting in the back of my mind and those that I haven’t thought to ask yet and, again, encourage curiosity and connection.
I have found these materials to bring me a sense of openness and stability that I previously didn’t experience when I needed to speak my truth, particularly difficult truths.
Is this resonating with you?
Click here to sign up today!
Secure payment via credit/debit card or PayPal.
The Reconnecting to Self Membership is a monthly rolling subscription, which you can join for as long as is supportive for you.
When you sign up you will…
- Have access to the Member’s Library where all of the content, courses, practices and meditations are available
- Receive access to my Speak Your Truth 8 week course, which will take you through a process to feel more confident in speaking up with exercises, practices, video content, and guided visualisations
- Access my Reactivity to Regulation Method course, which guides you through a three-part process to better understand, manage, and regulate challenging emotional responses
- Access Q&A videos where I answer your questions about relationship dynamics, boundaries, and communication (or anything else you want to ask me!)
- Receive access to a library of guided embodiment meditations that you can use any time you need to come back to your body
- Ask me anything, any time, and I’ll pick questions to answer in Q&A videos
Monthly Themes & Practices
Included in the library is a collection of themes, designed to help you connect with a different part of yourself. Each theme includes a member’s only article to introduce the topic, and a handful of daily practices for you to try.
Here are the themes currently in the Member’s Library:
Finding The Words
Often we use language that doesn’t really reflect our needs or desires, usually because we want to be polite, we’re afraid of seeming rude or aggressive, or because we simply haven’t learned how to speak more directly. This theme and associated practices are all about identifying the times when our language doesn’t serve us, and finding clearer ways of communicating.
You’ll learn:
- How asking questions can give away your power
- How to get super precise on what your truth really is (and why it’s so important)
- A simple self-touch exercise you can use to practice communicating your desires
Energy & Attention
Are you familiar with the 80/20 rule? It’s the practice of keeping 80% of your energy and focus on yourself, and allowing 20% to go to other people. While 80% might sound like a lot, this is important because when we give too much of our attention away to others, we’re not able to stay centred and grounded. We risk people-pleasing, anxiously worrying about the other person, and untethered from our own wants and needs. Explore this theme to better understand why this can be so difficult, and try some practices to help keep you centred.
You’ll learn:
- How being an empath can support you to keep more focus on yourself
- How to identify where you focus most of your attention (it’s probably not on you)
- Simple, embodied practices to give you more choice in where you spend your energy
Boundaries
Boundaries are how we make sense of what’s ours and what’s someone else’s. We use boundaries to determine what to take responsibility for, what we want to allow in, and what we want to keep out. In that sense knowing where our boundaries are is crucial to our identity and sense of self; it’s how we understand our preferences, needs, wants, and limits. If you struggle with your boundaries then the practices in this section are for you.
You’ll learn:
- How to really feel in your body when you’re a ‘yes’ and when you’re a ‘no’ – without your mind getting in the way
- How to develop flexible, contextual boundaries that are neither too rigid or too flimsy
- How to feel your boundaries in an embodied way, so that you can recognise them more easily and hold them more firmly
Embodiment
Embodiment means to be fully present with what you’re feeling in your body. This is important because most of us are stuck in our heads most of the time, which means that we’re doing more thinking and analysing than we are feeling. While the mind is really great at analysing the past or planning for the future, it’s not so great at feeling what’s happening right now in the present moment. The embodiment practices in this section are designed to help you come back to your body.
You’ll learn:
- A beautiful, gentle movement practice you can use to come more into your body (it’s not dancing or yoga!)
- How to really listen to your body and uncover the wisdom you can find there
- How to uncover different flavours that your body wants to express – and explore moving them
Pleasure
How often do you tune into what feels good in your body? It’s curious to me how common it is to hear about discomfort: stiffness, achiness, pain. But how often do you hear someone talk about something that feels good in their body? How often do you find those places in yourself? Orienting to pleasure means consciously giving your attention to things that feel good, and it’s important for a few reasons. More about that in this section, plus some practices to support you reconnect with your pleasure.
You’ll learn:
- How to gently sensitise yourself to feeling more pleasure in your body
- How to let go of limiting beliefs that stop you from accessing your pleasure
- How to use self-touch to bring more consciousness to what really feels good for you
Shadow Work
Do you know what’s in your shadow? The shadow is everything in your unconscious that happens below the surface of your awareness. When we’re unaware of our true motivations and feelings, they can show up as judgement, shame, and criticism of others – as well as keeping us feeling stuck, inhibited, and drained, and all causing us to act out in ways that don’t feel in alignment with what we really want. With shadow work, the aim is to bring curiosity. As adults we can work towards reintegrating all of ourselves so that we can feel freer and more whole.
You’ll learn:
- How to uncover the hidden feelings and drives that unconsciously run the show and keep you from being your whole self
- New ways of understanding how your dreams might be showing you what’s in your shadow
- How to integrate and accept the more difficult parts of yourself, so that you’re freed up to behave in ways that feel in deeper alignment
Want to go deeper into these themes and explore the practices for yourself?
Click here to sign up today!
Secure payment via credit/debit card or PayPal.
The Speak Your Truth Course
As part of your membership you’ll have access to the Speak Your Truth course. This is a guided journey to help you feel more supported, resourced, and confident in speaking up.
The course is divided into four chapters, based on the Psychosexual Somatics Therapy model and combined with Authentic Relating and Non-Violent Communication approaches:
- Finding safety: you’ll find resources you can use to create a baseline of safety within yourself, from which to explore more challenging places
- Exploring your fears: you’ll get in touch with some of the fears that show up for you in those moments when you stop yourself from speaking up, so that you can understand your needs better and how to meet them
- Coming back to your body: you’ll explore practices to learn how to feel more of yourself, so that it becomes easier to identify what it is you really want – in a deeper, more embodied way
- Finding the words: you’ll begin to learn how to be more direct in your language, without being aggressive or rude, so that you can ask for what you need without conflict or blame
While you can go at your own pace, I recommend spending around a fortnight on each chapter before moving on, giving yourself plenty of time to really absorb and integrate.
Each chapter includes video teaching content, a guided visualisation, an exercise, a daily practice, and journaling prompts. It’s designed to fit into your day to day life without having to dedicate many hours to watching videos or meditating!
The Reactivity to Regulation Method
The Reactivity to Regulation Method course is also available to you in the Member’s Library. This is a process you can take at your own pace, designed to help you better understand and manage your emotional responses so that you have more choice in how you respond to difficult situations.
Over the course of three sessions you will:
- Learn how to track your emotional responses so that they feel more predictable.
- Identify the specific triggers that land you in difficult emotional states.
- Learn how your nervous system creates the experience of different emotional states.
- Identify the tools and resources you can use to lift yourself out of challenging emotions.
- Learn about how the nervous system works with your mind to create the experience of different emotions.
- Learn the basics of Polyvagal Theory to better understand how and why triggered states happen.
- Create a map of your own emotional responses, which you can use to better understand and track difficult states.
- Understand the reasons why your emotions show up the way they do, helping to remove shame and judgement.
This is a process I’ve guided many one-to-one clients through, and here’s what some of them had to say about it:
I used to constantly google “why do I feel this way”. But working with Hannah has given me a kind of physical manual for myself of tools to utilize in given situations. It provides me with a lot of self trust and confidence knowing I have that. ❤️❤️❤️ thank you!
Anon
Working with Hannah was transformational in helping me to see where my nervous system was affecting my capacity for physical intimacy and pleasure. While my profession had given me a good understanding of the nervous system, with Hannah’s compassionate guidance I was able to draw connections between past trauma and how that now affected my body’s sense of safety during sex. Thank you, Hannah, for holding such a beautiful, open and non-judgmental space to talk about such vulnerable topics.
Claire
Using the polyvagal ladder helped me to map out ways to handle my needs and emotions. This practice gave me a lot of self-trust and self-confidence. I can tell by using this tool each time I am able to self-regulate my nervous system that I gain more trust that I will always be okay. It showed me that I am fully capable of being fulfilled by my own self-care, which reduced my need for fulfilment from outside sources. I am safe and secure in my body.
Anon
Q&A Videos
You can send me questions any time (anonymously if you wish) for me to answer in regular Q&A videos.
Videos already in the library include my responses to questions such as:
- How do I deal with unmatched sexual desire when my partner wants more sex than I do?
- How can I communicate peacefully when receiving unwanted advice?
- How do I get better at identifying when a boundary has been crossed?
- How do I calm my anxiously attached part when my partner withdraws?
- How do I handle frustration during moments of feeling triggered?
- How do I trust my instincts when I’ve been disappointed or hurt by partners I trusted in the past?
Embodied Resourcing Meditations
The number one thing that stops you from speaking your truth is fear. The antidote to fear is creating safety in yourself, and that’s where these meditations come in.
These ten-minute meditations are designed to help you come back to your body and back to safety when you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed – or to use as a daily centring practice. My one-to-one clients have been asking me to record these, so they’re now available for members in the library.
Sounding like something you want in your life?
Click here to sign up today!
Secure payment via credit/debit card or PayPal.
The Reconnecting to Self Membership is open for enrolment and I’d love to welcome you in!
Included in the membership:
• Library of themes and daily practices
• Access to the Speak Your Truth course
• Access to the Reactivity to Regulation Method course
• Access to the Embodied Resourcing Meditations
• A library of Q&A videos where I answer anything you want to ask me
Join now to receive all of this for only $49 USD/month!
Sign me up!
Sign up now to secure this pricing forever. This is a monthly rolling subscription and you can cancel any time.
Who am I?
I’m Ro: I’m trained as a coach in Psychosexual Somatics Therapy (PST), which is a gentle, trauma-aware method of moving through intimacy challenges – sexual, relational, or emotional. It emphasises nervous system regulation while addressing childhood attachment issues, by combining a cognitive understanding of the emotional root causes underneath the presenting issue, alongside embodied practices and somatic awareness.
I combine this with my experience of Authentic Relating, Non-Violent Communication, and Radical Honesty approaches – for super effective communication that’s direct without feeling aggressive.
It’s a really awesome mix.
Above all, my mission is to support clients in slowing right down and feeling more of themselves.
In my work I believe that challenges that show up in sex and intimacy are not problems to be solved.
Instead they are clues to show us the parts of ourselves that are wanting some attention and care. This requires working slowly to find these vulnerable places, and working with them gently.
FAQs
How much do I pay to join?
You can join the membership for $49 USD/month.
Does the $49 USD cover everything?
Yes! This includes access the members library with practices, course materials, meditations, and Q&A videos. You’ll also have access to the link to ask me a question for a future Q&A. If you sign up today you’ll pay that same amount forever.
How long does my subscription last?
As long as you want it to. This is a monthly rolling subscription; you’re welcome to stay (and I hope you do) for as long as is supportive for you.
What’s the time commitment?
The intention is for this to be a supportive space – not another chore on your to-do list. You’re welcome to engage at a level that works for you. The daily practices I publish each week are designed to take only a few minutes per day.
What’s the structure and content of the group – how does it work?
All of the content is accessible via the Member’s Library area on my website, for you to access whenever you like. You’ll receive updates about new content (practices, Q&A videos etc) via email so you’ll always be notified when there’s something new.
Which platforms do you use?
All of the content is available via a private area on my website – no social media accounts required. You’ll receive email notifications with new content every week.
Are you ready to join us?
Click here to sign up today!
Secure payment via credit/debit card or PayPal.