How To Say No (After Saying Yes)
Do you ever end up in a situation where you’ve agreed to something that isn’t feeling good any more? Maybe you said yes because you thought it’s what you wanted, or because you thought it’s […]
Relationships
Viewing all posts on the topic of relationships: communicating, expressing vulnerability, and building intimacy.
The Ultimate Guide to Setting Boundaries in Relationships
Maybe you’ve heard that having boundaries in your relationships is really important. While this is good advice, it doesn’t begin to explain exactly what boundaries are, how you can find yours, or communicate them to […]
How To Change Your Mind
This is a big topic for me. Not because I have an awful lot to say about it, but because the resistance I feel to changing my mind is colossal. For a whole bunch of […]
Dating Pattern Interrupt
If we take it as a given that we will tend to be attracted to people who allow us to act out childhood experiences of love and affection, meaning that we play out similar patterns […]
What Is a Polyamorous Relationship?
Polyamory is the sometimes challenging, often liberating, and almost always unpredictable practice of having multiple simultaneous intimate, sexual relationships with different people. But more than this: polyamorous relationships, when done successfully, force us to confront the things we’re scared of in a much more immediate way than monogamous commitments. So what does polyamory really mean, and why would we choose it?
Coping With Loneliness (In & Out of Relationship)
I recently had a conversation with a friend about how ironically lonely it could be to have polyamorous relationships. Or, perhaps more specifically, even to be part of the polyamorous community. Not to mention how hard coping with that loneliness could be. The thing is, it’s so easy to not be alone. Or rather, it’s so easy to take small actions that will temporarily quench the loneliness we feel, but that don’t have the depth or the connection or the commitment or presence to really feel satisfying. How do we learn to be satisfied with ourselves without needing to seek validation through constant contact with others?
How To Be Vulnerable
There are two things I’ve discovered while learning how to be vulnerable recently: it’s really fucking hard, and really fucking worth it. I could never have known how to be vulnerable through most of my […]
What Is Intimacy?
I read a quote recently which really stuck with me: “People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show […]
When To Say, “I Love You”
Last Valentine’s Day I sent messages to everyone in my life who I loved, who I wasn’t already in the habit of telling regularly, and told them so. This included family, housemates, close friends old […]